Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Nun In A Cab



A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "my son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you have to be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK," the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess. I'm married and I'm Jewish."
"That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

(this is not an Eden-original. It was read aloud by a pastor at my "Alpha" course)

"Are my teeth white enough? I hope they can't tell I have bad gas!"

John Kerry thoughts while addressing a California crowd.

Eden original fake-news

Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe Call It Quits...

after seven years of marriage! The reasons:

Reese said, "it's not enough being the cutest girl in movies, being famous, getting an Oscar and being married to an attractive young man. There must be more!" She further went on to say that she is tired of being happy.

Ryan said, "I know she's attractive and delightful, we're rich, she's famous, but I have needs! That's why I have a wandering eye."

The couple also stated that they know about the "seven year itch" and they just wanted to make the deadline.

Eden original fake-news
photo: abc news

Thursday, October 26, 2006

"I'm Gonna Sneeze" said Vice President Dick Cheney



as he talked in a radio interview about the idea of dunking a terrorist suspect in water for interrogation purposes.

Eden original fake-news.

MARS ROVER BEGINNING TO HATE MARS


Unmanned Vehicle 'Bored Out Of Its Mind'
October 26, 2006

PASADENA, CA - NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory scientists overseeing the ongoing Mars Exploration Rover Mission said that the Spirit's latest transmissions could indicate a growing resentment of the Red Planet.

"The thousand or so daily messages of 'NO WATER' really point to a crisis of purpose," said project manager John Callas.

From The Onion

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

SEE the movie "Obsession"



And I don't mean the movie by the same title by Hitchcock(?)about romance gone wrong. (I think it was one of those "film noirs")

This current movie's subtitle is "Radical Islam's War Against The West." It is excellent and a must-see for every single American about the looming danger of RADICAL Islam and the brewing hatred toward US and everyone that doesn't fit into the radical agenda of extremists.

After seeing it I wondered why more Americans aren't already dead and was awakened to the point being made that all radical Islam has at its base the hatred of Jews - just like Hitler. Hitler even had some involvement with the breeding of radical Islam during his time here, much to my surprise!

This shows just how asleep we are, but for how long?

Iraqi Leaders Call For Moment Of Violence during Ramadan



BAGHDAD- Ha ha ha. Just the title in The Onion strikes me as hilarious. It reads, "all of us fighting for control of this land...have one thing in common.We all share a deep and abiding commitment to murder, mayhem and massacre as a means of achieving our various ends."

WOULD YOU PAY $139M FOR THIS ANYWAY?



DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS?! A Vegas casino magnate accidentally poked a hole through his pricey Picasso - right after selling it for $139 million! The guy was gesturing with his hands and suddenly his elbow went through it.

I think $139 million is too much to pay for one guy's depiction of mankind as fragmented. Don't you?

Friday, October 06, 2006

"Wait, I have to sneeze," said Vice President Dick Cheney


as he talked about the breakdown of an old media monopoly as one of the most favorable trends during his years in politics....

Eden original fake news

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I GUESS I'M THANKFUL!



because I actually have this great family. I have this great mother who gives and gives and loves and loves. And though she's 80, she is young for her age and is full of energy. She is always getting the family together and making food for everyone. She is always thinking of others. I have five siblings and a cousin who is like a brother. I have nephews and nieces. We all love each other and are in close contact with one another. My sister who lives in Germany just visited and we ended years of silence and rivalry and had a great time together. Now we have each other as well. She brought her daughter who is at that great age of 13.

My oldest brother, a lawyer, is coming from California this coming weekend to visit. We just had a huge family reunion centered around my mom's 80th birthday. All her brothers and sisters came to visit and we had a great time. They are all young for their age like she is and love her very much. I finally realize that I'm lucky, I guess.

My siblings are all amazing people. My oldest brother is a lawyer and has two adopted daughters from China. My older sister has raised three children and become an architect as well. My next older brother is a graphic artist. My sister in Germany has learned fluent German and raised two adorable girls and teaches English, and my youngest brother is a professor of film on the east coast and will soon teach in London. My cousin who is like a brother to us is a doctor who has already retired. My nephew, son of my sister the architect has already worked on movie sets in video production and got a job recently working for the Minnesota Timberwolves showing movie clips to go with whatever kind of action occurs during the game. My nephew is so mature he is almost like another sibling.

And then there's me - the underachiever - the dreamer. But I'm fragile, and life is just a little harder for me. And it wouldn't be right to describe my siblings as I have without telling that they are also godly people with a spiritual side and are very decent as well as accomplished.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Experts Remove Large Gall Stone



Memphis, TN- Experts removed a man's large, conspicuously-shaped gall stone Monday. Just in time for the holidays, the giant obstruction looked "just like a pumpkin" Doctor Roberto remarked.

Eden original fake-news

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Grand Tetons, Summer!




In the summer of 2005, I stayed in a KOA log cabin with my two cats in the Grand Tetons. I was on the edge of a short cliff that overlooked the Snake river. I went whitewater rafting. It was heavenly!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

My New Boyfriend



In my dreams!

(Mario Lopez)

Hero Firefighter Loses Lifelong Battle With Fire



BALTIMORE, MD - Hero Firefighter Jim McCloud, who has been fighting fire for his entire adult life was interviewed at the scene of a Baltimore blaze on Elliott Street South, and was quoted as saying, "I've fought fire for all this time and I give up. Fire wins. Let it consume and consume. I won't be interfering anymore." The burning building then collapsed.

Eden original fake-news inspired by The Onion

Commemorative Items To Celebrate 9/11



Many of us remember 9/11/2001 and its many heroes. Once you could only purchase gold coins made of steel mined from the World Trade Center ruins to celebrate the tragedy.

NOW Commemorative Creations is offering other items mined from the World Trade Center to celebrate the event, such as a firefighter's wedding arm band complete with a silver firefighter dangly thing.



Uncle Finkelstein's gold teeth,


and many more.

Eden original fake infomercial

Monday, September 04, 2006

Senator John McCain Accidentally Swallows A Fly



WASHINGTON, DC-Senator John McCain exclaimed, "Oh my G-" and choked as a fly accidentally flew into his mouth while waiting to be interviewed for a television news program. His communications director, Ellen McMenamin, was standing nearby.

McCain brushed off the embarrassing moment by joking that he hadn't had lunch and the fly "really hit the spot."


Eden original fake-news

Bush Urges Nation To Be Quiet For A Minute While He Tries To Think



WASHINGTON, DC- In a nationally televised address Monday, President Bush urged all citizens, regardless of race, creed, color, or political affiliation, "to quiet down for just one minute" so he could have a chance to think.

"Every American has an inalienable right to free speech and self-expression," Bush said. "Nonetheless, I call on the American people to hold off on it for, say, 60 seconds. Just long enough for me to get this sorted out in my head."

"Please," Bush added.

While the president said achieving a unilateral peace an quiet "would not be easy," he hoped that citizens would respect his wish and work toward a temporary cease-talk so that he can hear his own thoughts, "for once."

"Make no mistake: it will take patience and sacrifice," Bush said.


From The Onion

I don't know God

Here I am saying, "if we really knew God there is nothing about Him we wouldn't like" or, I said "if YOU knew God" - RIGHT THERE on the title of my blog.

Then, I have posts that say things about trusting God only for provision, and now I come to realize that I have to be clever. That God doesn't just give you prosperity without you being extremely clever and extrmely productive is painfully obvious to me.

I also doubt God's will to heal me (please see my last post) I have some serious needs for healing. I spent months in mental torment because of mental disease, and I walk on a lame foot and it hurts every day of my life. I talked about how sure I was that God would be healing me and now I am doubly doubtful about it and I have no closeness to God or any sense that He is any way connected to anything that really matters in life to me!

I think maybe tonight I have finally latched on to some things that will help me crawl back to faith. Life is horribly difficult, isn't it????????

It will be SOME TIME before I call myself God's "Warrior Princess" again!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

SOMALIA DEFEATS RWANDA TO WIN THIRD-WORLD CUP



KHARTOUM, SUDAN - The host city of the 2006 Developing Nations Football Championship erupted in cheers that nearly drowned out the cries of the starving and wounded Tuesday when the underdog Somali side, playing four down due to injuries and landmines, outlasted the more experienced if disease-ridden Rwandans 1-0 to win the inaugural Third-World Cup.

From The Onion

Monday, April 10, 2006

WHY DO I EXTOL THE JEW?





The Jew is God's focal point on earth.

The Jew goes back directly to Adam and Eve and we have the entire family tree on record. Abraham, the father of all Jews, comes directly from the lineage of Adam.

God chose the Jews and collectively made them a kind of messiah; He made them endure hardships and burdens for us, the lowly Gentiles, so that one day their messiah would be ours as well.

They were spit upon and tortured, despised and rejected - as He was, because they bore the imprint of God and the burden of divinity.

Poor beasts that flogged them - they knew that absolutely no one could hold a candle to the Jew.

They have born that burden for us, only many Jews have not understood, even wanting to emulate we Gentiles.

This is an interfaith exchange. We believe that Jesus is and was Yeshua Ha Messhiach, the Messiah to the Jews and the Messiah of the world.

When our Messiah, their Messiah came to us, we were beasts. We had strange notions of gods (instead of God) strange thoughts about the earth, and our relationship to it. We had a twisted relationship to each other as well. We worshipped rocks and bones. We were in a wrong relationship to animals. We had darkness in our understanding even though we had knowledge of many things.

We communed daily with demons and drank blood - God's sacred element which he strictly forbade His people to drink. Our minds were dull and yes, Pagan. swept by winds of evil and base impulses. All things considered, we had nothing! We were alone - each one a stranger to the other. We knew no love, only idolatry of beauty and the "lust thereof."

Yeshua came and touched the wild minds, the way he stilled the wind and the waves. He came in the form of his saints where they received this message.

He came over the seas from the middle east, first to the Islands where they received him - to Scandinavia, and The British Isles. It was the the Angles Jutes, Saxons and Fresians who had wandered there from some unknown region. The Vikings later emerged from the Islands of Scandinavia who were also called the Danes in the ancient world. Yeshua came, through his saints, to the British Isles which the Romans had inhabited until their demise, and which had been inhabited by a mysterious group of people called Celts who had already lived there for an untold number of years.

All of these pagan nations waited in darkness for many years but for what? They didn't know.

Lives began to transform. The Vikings gave in to grace and love and "fell in love" with Yeshua.

We found dignity and power, self control and knowledge, science and creativity. We found light! Through a moral awakening in our souls, a spirtual tide sweeping our inner spirit - our lives were totally changed. Through a continual sharpening of our minds, we joined you in transforming the world through an advanced technological age.

We started to march with you against evil and injustice. In America, we joined hands and created what we call Judeo-Christian society. This was the work of Yeshua.

Then we fell victim to pride and the corruption of power. This conflicted with the divinity instilled by Yeshua. Many souls retained the poisons of the past, we now know. But we didn't return to our pagan ways altogether.

Rabbi Jacob Neusner, who didn't claim to believe Jesus was the Messiah, still claimed in his book "A Rabbi Talks To Jesus" that Jesus is responsible for civilizing the western world.

Despite the humble origins of the church, and its many faults and foibles, D. James Kennedy says in his book, "What If Jesus Had Never Been Born?" that "the church has made more changes on earth than any other movement or force in history." He lists some of them:

*Hospitals and Universities, founded during the Middle Ages
*Literacy and education for the masses
*The abolition of slavery
*The Elevation of Women
*Inspiration for some of the greatest works of art
*and the list goes on.......

Contrary to popular thought, when women were deified in our world, and while some were in authority, most common women were treated like animals. Yeshua totally altered this. Look at our world today and notice it is the Christian world that has given women the power to excel. In studying what we call "The Old Testament" we can also see that Jewish women had a much higher status in the Jewish system than in the world around them.

In the "New Testament," Paul, the apostle most responsible for bringing the work of Christ to the nations, states that there is neither Jew nor "Greek" neither slave nor free and neither male nor female. He was declaring that this is the new status, the new state of things.

To put it simply, we got your God. I don't know how it happened, but we got the Jews' God.

It's been a mixed blessing. Being eaten by lions? Not a highlight.

All that we have been able to realize in our lives was made possible by our friend the Jew. Even before the birth of Yeshua, the Jew brought light to the world, and there was the hope of transformation.

Hollywood makes many truthful observations. The prosecuting attorney in the movie "The Death Of Mary Phagan" admitted to the courtroom that he was aware that Jews were a civilized people "when" as he said in this paraphrase, "we {caucasians} were
still eating human flesh."

The Jews, among us for centuries, ensured a sane and civilized mind was always inhabiting the earth through the dark years. This civilizing effect made many ripples in the pool of history.

In America, the Jewish influence is profound. Hollywood reflects this the most. As a film lover and new filmmaker, Hollywood is very important to me. Many movies display an "earthy" wisdom about mankind. Some movies are purely profound, and some are prophetic. The subconscious collective of many filmmakers, under the protection of the Jewish leadership in Hollywood, has produced miraculous and mysterious foresight.

Hollywood is powerful. Jews have dominated the culture through Hollywood. It's a clever takeover - employing the ultimate creativity, making even devils sit in their chairs and roar with laughter.

Judeo-Christian values are more than preserved in Hollywood. The staunchly religious Christians and the perhaps other staunch folks criticize Hollywood and perhaps can't appreciate the liberated ways of keeping the laws of God. It's the way they were meant to be kept - full of grace and freedom.

In some ways it seems to me that the Jews in Hollywood have actually better attained to God's perfect hope of understanding that He sought throughout the Old Testament. I would like to believe that we Christians have helped the Jews to do that. A balance has been struck - spirit and flesh, body and soul. The greatest eclipse of Christians and Jews seems to be reflected In Hollywood. It may not be conscious but it is progressive.

it is not surprising that Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion.." is protected by Jewish leadership, despite some claims that it bashes Jews. Mel's movie points to another forgotten group of people - the religious who have no love, only the "letter." They were Jesus' true enemies.

Today, Jesus true enemies are the Christians who have only the "letter" and none of the love.

When I look at the Jews as a collective, I can see the imprint of God. I have to ask, "how is it that so many still KNOW that they are Jews?" After all the wandering, all the assimilating, all the homelessness.

Their history is unparalleled. They have even gone back and retrieved the ancient land which once was their only home. I have heard that theoretically, it is the location of the garden of Eden - Adam and Eve's original home. How amazing is that? And after wandering for centuries - after being scattered.

The Jews tell me the God of the bible is real. If the Jews leave the earth - then I'm in hell. How many times I've thought that the real Christians have been raptured already, but then I think, "but I have the Jews." So it's alright.

The Jews tell me it is possible to have the mind of a computer and the heart of a rabbi. It shows what I've missed being in a group of people long immersed in darkness, and not likely to catch up.

No matter what we've been able to achieve, it is the Jews who stand out as the cleverest and most talented. They show me that to be God's is to be the best possible person I can be.

"Personality is something we develop to overcome evil." I learned that from the Jews. Humor and clever words avert lust, anger, violence and countless components of evil. Hollywood often teaches this.

We believe that we've been adopted. We were adopted into the same family as the Jews because of Yeshua. This is too high, too good. God made me a Jew!

God took me from the "wild beasts" of the earth and made me one of HIS OWN! This is what Messiah came to do!

We Christians are struggling to get the same relationship going that the Jews have had since, well, the beginning. OK we have our Tammy Fayes and our faggy Toms. We're new.

My first love in the bible is the writings of David the shepherd - the man after God's own heart. About David, as I look at his writings in an overview I can only say - "you're not paranoid if they really are after you!"


I can quote David by heart: "As for God His ways are perfect. He is a shield to all who trust in Him." "By my God I can run against a troop and leap over a wall." "he trains my hands for war so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze."

The more I know the Jewish God, the more it changes me. I find myself becoming cleverer, wittier, and more creative. One day it dawned on me: "I am becoming a Jew!"

Now I understand how they got so smart. It's because of their enemies. One day they are in a place, the next day they are running for fear of becoming lunch meat. God seems to have one plan, then the plan changes. To understand Him takes your whole heart, soul and mind. it takes all your energy. It takes all your time. He requires incredible patience and there are burdens, there is pain, there is a price.

You have to ask Him for wisdom on everything. He always likes to do something new, yet He is unchanging. That is what makes Him so exciting.

We have a fierce arch enemy with cunning deception. Because of David, I can see it's the same old story. We have to be on our toes 24/7.

In this present darkness I appeal to those who love their God, the God of Israel, and who desire rightness with all their hearts.

I want to ask you, the Jewish people, for patience and understanding for all the beastly minds in this world who know in their hearts that they are beasts and cringe as they watch the Jew march on in his regal destiny.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

I LOVE BOWLING


call me crazy!

Bowling:
1. Good winter sport alternative
2. Good exercise, if you play alone and play frame after frame (arm moving exercise considered to be the best)
3. Good and fun social sport
4. No matter what kind of game you play, you always get exercise

The young ones are bringing it back!

MY PORTRAIT GALLERY






This is a small portfolio of my portraits. I usually charge ten dollars for a face. The Lord of the Rings theme drawing won me $100.00. I have done many for free, and though one is done in charcoal I prefer using a soft lead pencil. The first portrait is of Jesse, a hispanic boy at the Mall of America, the second, a girl at her coming of age party in Belize, the third, a couple of young adults who work at a coffee shop in Minneapolis, the fourth a woman at the mall of America and the fifth a little Asian girl named Jaqueline Le at the Mall of America.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

CONTEMPLATE THIS!

It is a worthy subject to contemplate the degree of "evangelism" amongst Jews to bring others into their faith. We seldom realize that this did happen even before Christ. It didn't happen as much because the Holy Spirit that came upon the early ones was the reason for the passion of evangelism. Yet, isn't it cool that Jews did consider it important to share their faith and help others "become" Jews as well?

P.S. Notice how I have learned to share things in short, pithy thoughts lately? It helps my readers to have these because of the speed we all have to live in.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

UMA INSPIRES THE ARAB WORLD


President Bush drives into Saudi Arabia in his limousine. The first person to pop out of the vehicle is Uma Thurman. Long legs, blonde hair waving in the breeze, resplendent, fair Nordic skin, and a short skirt with high heeled boots.

She walks through the crowd of women in their muslim berpas, and they all gasp. She walks past them like a model on the runway, makes a sharp turn, walks back the same way again sporting a jacket on her shoulder.

The Saudi men are behind the women trying to get a better view, but before they get very close, the limo door opens and she steps inside the car door - the door closes.

Narrator: GEORGE BUSH. ALWAYS FINDING NEW WAYS TO FREE THE ARAB WORLD.

An Eden original presidential campaign idea.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Love Being A Girl!


A store for women featuring polka dots, ruffles, and everything cute and feminine.

It will include dresses, blouses, shirts, t-shirts, tops, shorts, pants all in feminine styles - and nothing that is vampy or unfeminine will be in the store.

It will include items for female pets - dogs, cats. ferrets, etc.

it will include items for children, teens, women and anyone who is decidedly female.

It will include bags, in many feminine styles.

Shoes - in feminine styles.

Hats - in feminine styles

There will be items for the kitchen and the bathroom, etc. - all with the theme of that which is feminine.

The employees will be: one teenager, one adult woman in her twenties, one in her thirties and one is her forties, one in her fifties and one in her 60's and beyond that if a retireee wants to work there - what the heck, let her!

There will be men working there in regular shifts who have a particular flair for relating to women, and who have a deep respect and fondness for women. Applicants will have to be turned away because of the overwhelming volume of men applying for this position.

The proceeds will partly go to Exodus-International, and partly will be used for a coming out of the gay thing by means of women's retreats to do fun, feminine things - makeup sessions, massage sessions, etc. and for retreats to shop for feminine clothes at the store and to do lots of feminine things - sewing, quilting, baking, etc. etc.

This is both an Eden original business idea and ministry idea.

OSAMA BIN LADEN SPOTTED AT HUGH HEFNER'S PALACE

A reporter, whose name is not being disclosed, was visiting the home of Hugh Hefner Friday and spotted one man who looked like Osama Bin Laden in disguise. Sure enough, upon questioning the suspect, the man admitted it.

"I just thought, why not? "he laughed nervously. "I'll party with the infidels." After being further interviewed he admitted: "That whole terrorism thing -I was just working out some of my personal problems."

He went on to say that he believed it is the fault of the mothers. "Many men of my generation were severely beaten by their mothers."

Later he was heard shouting and saying, "get down you bad mamma jamma!"

Eden original fake-news

Monday, March 13, 2006

FUNNY SIGNS ON THE AMERICAN ROADWAY


This photo is on Route 66 in Arizona.
I swear all these are real.

In Wyoming:
"Lotty's Family Restaurant And Cocktail Lounge"
"Adult Videos And Free Donuts for Truckers"

In Montana:
"RV Dump And Deli"
"Gambling, RV Hookup And Seafood"
"Rooms Are Clean, Color TV"
"Steaks, Lanes, Seafood, Cocktails" - for a bowling alley/restaurant

In Louisiana:
"Plantation Plaza"
Name of road: "Rabbit Trail"

In Tijuana, Mexico:
"Cosmetica Ortodontologia" with a sign above in English that reads: ROOT CANAL

Sunday, March 12, 2006

HMMMM Plenty of Trains and Autos LEAVE Minneapolis!




Hardly a funnier movie was ever made - Planes Trains and Automobiles with beloved John Candy and Steve Martin. This is a beautfiul portrayal of love between two men.

It is a story about learning to get along and learning to love another person in spite of their faults.

And, I have hardly ever laughed so hard at any movie. John Candy is a total laugh riot. My sister says she wearies of this kind of story, where everything goes wrong, but that's only if you take everything that goes wrong seriously. I told her - this is a COMEDY. It's a spoof on life. That was just a defininition for Minnesotans. Spoof on life=funny! That's usually what it means.

The movie is rated R because of one scene where Steve Martin uses the "F" word too much, and made in 1987. It is becoming a timeless classic.

Friday, March 10, 2006

WIN OVER SIN


The answer to the sin problem is very simple, but not easy. The primary thrust of this writing is this: to overcome sin we must become so weak, so perfectly unable to do for ourselves what only God can do that we fall before His mercy and receive his grace, at last.

Our inability to receive His grace, especially those of us who are so good at being good and have long been taught the way of striving, is our main problem.

It took me so long to learn this, and I had to un-learn so much of what I thought I'd learned.

The bible makes it clear that His strength is made manifest in our weakness, and that our righteousness is filthy rags. Unless His strength replaces our weakness, we have attainted nothing.

How does this play out?

If Christ dwells in you - you have all you need. It may be, as Jesus said in the parable, that he is in you only as a seed - a seed that has been choked and thwarted. Now what you need is to allow that seed to grow up on the inside of you. This is the fundamental key. We cannot "get the seed to grow" by striving. This is where being busy kills Christ. By listening to Him, by being still, you will hear that tiny voice, that seed in you, and you will see that small bit of power. Then, by resting in faith that seed can grow to become a louder voice, to being a greater power.

When caught in a cycle of some sin, you must rest. As you rest, even if you continue to sin, if you just keep the switch of faith on and continually claim God's forgiveness, you will be released. These are the things you "do." Communion is a big way of finding God's grace and His power to overcome. As you wait in faith for your sin to be overcome, keep applying the body and blood. It works. Don't let Satan tell you that you are unworthy now because of the fact that you are still sinning. You are made worthy through faith and the desire for righteousness. You will suddenly find that you aren't committing that sin any more!

So the first component is resting in faith.
The second is receiving grace.
The third is warfare. We are in a war. You cannot attain anything without warring against Satan. The more you want God, the more you will see the enemy of God, and it will be disguised as something else. You will think, "I'm depressed, I'm lusting, I'm hating, I'm confused," but it will be the influence of a diabolical spirit.

Remember it says "submit to God" then, "resist the devil." We submit to God by first dealing with our sin, then receiving grace, and then warring against the devil. We war with our words, speaking the Word Of God. God spoke and the world came to be. Our words are too important - as we have seen here in this blog, what it says about the tongue and how it can set things on fire. A tiny member of our bodies, like the rudder of a ship, and it steers us one way or another. Don't say, "I'll never be good enough, I'll never do anything right, I'm gonna die young." Dangerous words.

Here is a communion confession that is good:

Father in heaven, I examine myself today to see if there is any thing in me that is displeasing to You. In Jesus' name I ask you to forgive me for_________and to release me from the power of this sin. I break the hold of my judgment against anyone who has hurt me and allow him or her to go free of me. I ask forgiveness for any part I had in causing this and to cleanse me.

Take the bread and say over it: "this is the body of Jesus." Then repeat the words of Jesus....

"Take eat, this is my body," like the body of the Lamb eaten by Israel, "broken for you" to bear your sins, so you may die to sin and live to righteousness. This body heals you of the results of sin and heals the body. "Do this in remembrance of me."

Take the wine or juice and say over it: "this is the blood of Jesus" than repeat the words of Jesus:

"Drink, for this is the blood of the new Covenant," not the old covenant of the blood of animals, but the new covenant of the blood of the Eternal Lamb of God. This was shed for you to pardon sin, to release you from sin. This blood sets you free from the destruction that sin has caused, and heals the soul. "Do this in remembrance of Me."

Lord, we remember You and what You have done for us.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Periwinkle Is One Of My Favorite Colors



Second Photo: New Orleans' Mardi Gras

Periwinkle is made of:
Blue: for water
Purple: for the passion of Christ

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

American Pastor Caught Selling Timeshare In A Nudist Mexican Resort



CAN CUN, MEXICO-Pastor Hans Nelson, of Faith Bible Church, Minneapolis, was found unexpectedly, by some visitors to a remote nudist timeshare resort in Can Cun last Tuesday. The visitors had attended Faith Bible and recognized the pastor right away. Concerned that he was acting covertly against the wishes of his congregation, the young man and woman, who asked not to be identified, contacted other clergy members of his church.

"I am embarassed," Pastor Nelson said. "I was only trying to raise more money for the church. We are having financial difficulties and I was selling timeshare partime in Minneapolis for a local resort company. They let me know about an opportunity in Mexico and I took it - good money and all. That job was not at a nudist timeshare. Once I got to Can Cun, I was told that nudist timeshare pays seven times as much.

I was only trying to make as much as possible, and thought, well, it would be an experience of life in the Garden of Eden, after all. I'm sincerely sorry if I have hurt any of you," he added. "Please contribute," the pastor said.

Eden original fake-news