Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Experts Remove Large Gall Stone



Memphis, TN- Experts removed a man's large, conspicuously-shaped gall stone Monday. Just in time for the holidays, the giant obstruction looked "just like a pumpkin" Doctor Roberto remarked.

Eden original fake-news

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Grand Tetons, Summer!




In the summer of 2005, I stayed in a KOA log cabin with my two cats in the Grand Tetons. I was on the edge of a short cliff that overlooked the Snake river. I went whitewater rafting. It was heavenly!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

My New Boyfriend



In my dreams!

(Mario Lopez)

Hero Firefighter Loses Lifelong Battle With Fire



BALTIMORE, MD - Hero Firefighter Jim McCloud, who has been fighting fire for his entire adult life was interviewed at the scene of a Baltimore blaze on Elliott Street South, and was quoted as saying, "I've fought fire for all this time and I give up. Fire wins. Let it consume and consume. I won't be interfering anymore." The burning building then collapsed.

Eden original fake-news inspired by The Onion

Commemorative Items To Celebrate 9/11



Many of us remember 9/11/2001 and its many heroes. Once you could only purchase gold coins made of steel mined from the World Trade Center ruins to celebrate the tragedy.

NOW Commemorative Creations is offering other items mined from the World Trade Center to celebrate the event, such as a firefighter's wedding arm band complete with a silver firefighter dangly thing.



Uncle Finkelstein's gold teeth,


and many more.

Eden original fake infomercial

Monday, September 04, 2006

Senator John McCain Accidentally Swallows A Fly



WASHINGTON, DC-Senator John McCain exclaimed, "Oh my G-" and choked as a fly accidentally flew into his mouth while waiting to be interviewed for a television news program. His communications director, Ellen McMenamin, was standing nearby.

McCain brushed off the embarrassing moment by joking that he hadn't had lunch and the fly "really hit the spot."


Eden original fake-news

Bush Urges Nation To Be Quiet For A Minute While He Tries To Think



WASHINGTON, DC- In a nationally televised address Monday, President Bush urged all citizens, regardless of race, creed, color, or political affiliation, "to quiet down for just one minute" so he could have a chance to think.

"Every American has an inalienable right to free speech and self-expression," Bush said. "Nonetheless, I call on the American people to hold off on it for, say, 60 seconds. Just long enough for me to get this sorted out in my head."

"Please," Bush added.

While the president said achieving a unilateral peace an quiet "would not be easy," he hoped that citizens would respect his wish and work toward a temporary cease-talk so that he can hear his own thoughts, "for once."

"Make no mistake: it will take patience and sacrifice," Bush said.


From The Onion

I don't know God

Here I am saying, "if we really knew God there is nothing about Him we wouldn't like" or, I said "if YOU knew God" - RIGHT THERE on the title of my blog.

Then, I have posts that say things about trusting God only for provision, and now I come to realize that I have to be clever. That God doesn't just give you prosperity without you being extremely clever and extrmely productive is painfully obvious to me.

I also doubt God's will to heal me (please see my last post) I have some serious needs for healing. I spent months in mental torment because of mental disease, and I walk on a lame foot and it hurts every day of my life. I talked about how sure I was that God would be healing me and now I am doubly doubtful about it and I have no closeness to God or any sense that He is any way connected to anything that really matters in life to me!

I think maybe tonight I have finally latched on to some things that will help me crawl back to faith. Life is horribly difficult, isn't it????????

It will be SOME TIME before I call myself God's "Warrior Princess" again!