Monday, September 04, 2006

I don't know God

Here I am saying, "if we really knew God there is nothing about Him we wouldn't like" or, I said "if YOU knew God" - RIGHT THERE on the title of my blog.

Then, I have posts that say things about trusting God only for provision, and now I come to realize that I have to be clever. That God doesn't just give you prosperity without you being extremely clever and extrmely productive is painfully obvious to me.

I also doubt God's will to heal me (please see my last post) I have some serious needs for healing. I spent months in mental torment because of mental disease, and I walk on a lame foot and it hurts every day of my life. I talked about how sure I was that God would be healing me and now I am doubly doubtful about it and I have no closeness to God or any sense that He is any way connected to anything that really matters in life to me!

I think maybe tonight I have finally latched on to some things that will help me crawl back to faith. Life is horribly difficult, isn't it????????

It will be SOME TIME before I call myself God's "Warrior Princess" again!

4 comments:

Trailady said...

Yes, life is extremely difficult. You never know what is around the next bend... Hang in there. God blesses us all in different ways, but it doesn't mean He loves any certain kind of people above any others. You are a treasure!

Gabrielle Eden said...

Thank you sooooooo much.

David said...

Yes, Gabrielle, you are a treasure, especially to the One who made you. "Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, they may forget, yet will I not forget you." We love you, but our love pales in comparison to Him who created all the beauty of this world and loves us with a never dying love. "The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love; therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee." Jer. 31:3.

Gabrielle Eden said...

David, you always show such a depth and your love is not lost on me!