Here I am saying, "if we really knew God there is nothing about Him we wouldn't like" or, I said "if YOU knew God" - RIGHT THERE on the title of my blog.
Then, I have posts that say things about trusting God only for provision, and now I come to realize that I have to be clever. That God doesn't just give you prosperity without you being extremely clever and extrmely productive is painfully obvious to me.
I also doubt God's will to heal me (please see my last post) I have some serious needs for healing. I spent months in mental torment because of mental disease, and I walk on a lame foot and it hurts every day of my life. I talked about how sure I was that God would be healing me and now I am doubly doubtful about it and I have no closeness to God or any sense that He is any way connected to anything that really matters in life to me!
I think maybe tonight I have finally latched on to some things that will help me crawl back to faith. Life is horribly difficult, isn't it????????
It will be SOME TIME before I call myself God's "Warrior Princess" again!