CONTEMPLATE THIS!

It is a worthy subject to contemplate the degree of "evangelism" amongst Jews to bring others into their faith. We seldom realize that this did happen even before Christ. It didn't happen as much because the Holy Spirit that came upon the early ones was the reason for the passion of evangelism. Yet, isn't it cool that Jews did consider it important to share their faith and help others "become" Jews as well?

P.S. Notice how I have learned to share things in short, pithy thoughts lately? It helps my readers to have these because of the speed we all have to live in.

THEY DO NOT BEAR THE SWORD IN VAIN

THIS IS A GIRL

what is not to like?

UMA INSPIRES THE ARAB WORLD

President Bush drives into Saudi Arabia in his limousine. The first person to pop out of the vehicle is Uma Thurman. Long legs, blonde hair waving in the breeze, resplendent, fair Nordic skin, and a short skirt with high heeled boots.

She walks through the crowd of women in their muslim berpas, and they all gasp. She walks past them like a model on the runway, makes a sharp turn, walks back the same way again sporting a jacket on her shoulder.

The Saudi men are behind the women trying to get a better view, but before they get very close, the limo door opens and she steps inside the car door - the door closes.

Narrator: GEORGE BUSH. ALWAYS FINDING NEW WAYS TO FREE THE ARAB WORLD.

An Eden original presidential campaign idea.

Love Being A Girl!

A store for women featuring polka dots, ruffles, and everything cute and feminine.

It will include dresses, blouses, shirts, t-shirts, tops, shorts, pants all in feminine styles - and nothing that is vampy or unfeminine will be in the store.

It will include items for female pets - dogs, cats. ferrets, etc.

it will include items for children, teens, women and anyone who is decidedly female.

It will include bags, in many feminine styles.

Shoes - in feminine styles.

Hats - in feminine styles

There will be items for the kitchen and the bathroom, etc. - all with the theme of that which is feminine.

The employees will be: one teenager, one adult woman in her twenties, one in her thirties and one is her forties, one in her fifties and one in her 60's and beyond that if a retireee wants to work there - what the heck, let her!

There will be men working there in regular shifts who have a particular flair for relating to women, and who have a deep respect and fondness for women. Applicants will have to be turned away because of the overwhelming volume of men applying for this position.

The proceeds will partly go to Exodus-International, and partly will be used for a coming out of the gay thing by means of women's retreats to do fun, feminine things - makeup sessions, massage sessions, etc. and for retreats to shop for feminine clothes at the store and to do lots of feminine things - sewing, quilting, baking, etc. etc.

This is both an Eden original business idea and ministry idea.

OSAMA BIN LADEN SPOTTED AT HUGH HEFNER'S PALACE

A reporter, whose name is not being disclosed, was visiting the home of Hugh Hefner Friday and spotted one man who looked like Osama Bin Laden in disguise. Sure enough, upon questioning the suspect, the man admitted it.

"I just thought, why not? "he laughed nervously. "I'll party with the infidels." After being further interviewed he admitted: "That whole terrorism thing -I was just working out some of my personal problems."

He went on to say that he believed it is the fault of the mothers. "Many men of my generation were severely beaten by their mothers."

Later he was heard shouting and saying, "get down you bad mamma jamma!"

Eden original fake-news

FUNNY SIGNS ON THE AMERICAN ROADWAY

This photo is on Route 66 in Arizona.
I swear all these are real.

In Wyoming:
"Lotty's Family Restaurant And Cocktail Lounge"
"Adult Videos And Free Donuts for Truckers"

In Montana:
"RV Dump And Deli"
"Gambling, RV Hookup And Seafood"
"Rooms Are Clean, Color TV"
"Steaks, Lanes, Seafood, Cocktails" - for a bowling alley/restaurant

In Louisiana:
"Plantation Plaza"
Name of road: "Rabbit Trail"

In Tijuana, Mexico:
"Cosmetica Ortodontologia" with a sign above in English that reads: ROOT CANAL

HMMMM Plenty of Trains and Autos LEAVE Minneapolis!

Hardly a funnier movie was ever made - Planes Trains and Automobiles with beloved John Candy and Steve Martin. This is a beautfiul portrayal of love between two men.

It is a story about learning to get along and learning to love another person in spite of their faults.

And, I have hardly ever laughed so hard at any movie. John Candy is a total laugh riot. My sister says she wearies of this kind of story, where everything goes wrong, but that's only if you take everything that goes wrong seriously. I told her - this is a COMEDY. It's a spoof on life. That was just a defininition for Minnesotans. Spoof on life=funny! That's usually what it means.

The movie is rated R because of one scene where Steve Martin uses the "F" word too much, and made in 1987. It is becoming a timeless classic.

WIN OVER SIN

The answer to the sin problem is very simple, but not easy. The primary thrust of this writing is this: to overcome sin we must become so weak, so perfectly unable to do for ourselves what only God can do that we fall before His mercy and receive his grace, at last.

Our inability to receive His grace, especially those of us who are so good at being good and have long been taught the way of striving, is our main problem.

It took me so long to learn this, and I had to un-learn so much of what I thought I'd learned.

The bible makes it clear that His strength is made manifest in our weakness, and that our righteousness is filthy rags. Unless His strength replaces our weakness, we have attainted nothing.

How does this play out?

If Christ dwells in you - you have all you need. It may be, as Jesus said in the parable, that he is in you only as a seed - a seed that has been choked and thwarted. Now what you need is to allow that seed to grow up on the inside of you. This is the fundamental key. We cannot "get the seed to grow" by striving. This is where being busy kills Christ. By listening to Him, by being still, you will hear that tiny voice, that seed in you, and you will see that small bit of power. Then, by resting in faith that seed can grow to become a louder voice, to being a greater power.

When caught in a cycle of some sin, you must rest. As you rest, even if you continue to sin, if you just keep the switch of faith on and continually claim God's forgiveness, you will be released. These are the things you "do." Communion is a big way of finding God's grace and His power to overcome. As you wait in faith for your sin to be overcome, keep applying the body and blood. It works. Don't let Satan tell you that you are unworthy now because of the fact that you are still sinning. You are made worthy through faith and the desire for righteousness. You will suddenly find that you aren't committing that sin any more!

So the first component is resting in faith.
The second is receiving grace.
The third is warfare. We are in a war. You cannot attain anything without warring against Satan. The more you want God, the more you will see the enemy of God, and it will be disguised as something else. You will think, "I'm depressed, I'm lusting, I'm hating, I'm confused," but it will be the influence of a diabolical spirit.

Remember it says "submit to God" then, "resist the devil." We submit to God by first dealing with our sin, then receiving grace, and then warring against the devil. We war with our words, speaking the Word Of God. God spoke and the world came to be. Our words are too important - as we have seen here in this blog, what it says about the tongue and how it can set things on fire. A tiny member of our bodies, like the rudder of a ship, and it steers us one way or another. Don't say, "I'll never be good enough, I'll never do anything right, I'm gonna die young." Dangerous words.

Here is a communion confession that is good:

Father in heaven, I examine myself today to see if there is any thing in me that is displeasing to You. In Jesus' name I ask you to forgive me for_________and to release me from the power of this sin. I break the hold of my judgment against anyone who has hurt me and allow him or her to go free of me. I ask forgiveness for any part I had in causing this and to cleanse me.

Take the bread and say over it: "this is the body of Jesus." Then repeat the words of Jesus....

"Take eat, this is my body," like the body of the Lamb eaten by Israel, "broken for you" to bear your sins, so you may die to sin and live to righteousness. This body heals you of the results of sin and heals the body. "Do this in remembrance of me."

Take the wine or juice and say over it: "this is the blood of Jesus" than repeat the words of Jesus:

"Drink, for this is the blood of the new Covenant," not the old covenant of the blood of animals, but the new covenant of the blood of the Eternal Lamb of God. This was shed for you to pardon sin, to release you from sin. This blood sets you free from the destruction that sin has caused, and heals the soul. "Do this in remembrance of Me."

Lord, we remember You and what You have done for us.

Periwinkle Is One Of My Favorite Colors

Second Photo: New Orleans' Mardi Gras

Periwinkle is made of:
Blue: for water
Purple: for the passion of Christ

American Pastor Caught Selling Timeshare In A Nudist Mexican Resort

CAN CUN, MEXICO-Pastor Hans Nelson, of Faith Bible Church, Minneapolis, was found unexpectedly, by some visitors to a remote nudist timeshare resort in Can Cun last Tuesday. The visitors had attended Faith Bible and recognized the pastor right away. Concerned that he was acting covertly against the wishes of his congregation, the young man and woman, who asked not to be identified, contacted other clergy members of his church.

"I am embarassed," Pastor Nelson said. "I was only trying to raise more money for the church. We are having financial difficulties and I was selling timeshare partime in Minneapolis for a local resort company. They let me know about an opportunity in Mexico and I took it - good money and all. That job was not at a nudist timeshare. Once I got to Can Cun, I was told that nudist timeshare pays seven times as much.

I was only trying to make as much as possible, and thought, well, it would be an experience of life in the Garden of Eden, after all. I'm sincerely sorry if I have hurt any of you," he added. "Please contribute," the pastor said.

Eden original fake-news

I Don't Know Why, But I Love This Flag!

I STILL DO!

WORLD WAR II VET SAYS: "I WAS IN THE BIG ONE!

You know...WW!"

This is actually a picture of Ridgell, the owner of Buzzy's country store in St Mary's Maryland, one of the few surviving country stores in the area. I love these stores. My travels around America have been in pursuit of small country stores and diners. But as is rather obvious, the owners are getting older and won't be around or are already gone. They have trouble keeping up wih the times, which is what makes their stores so cool. But there is no reason why we can't keep some of these stores along with Walmart.

I have this girlfriend, young and attractive, from Seattle who bought a store like that back there. Some will always keep these going, but maybe more as a novelty. People need good, affordable, cutting edge products.

STOP, RELAX, THINK, PRAY

An Eden original bumper sticker

PAKISTAN CELEBRATES AMERICAN VISIT WITH WILD ABANDON

"It is stunning and moving to see such a wild display of enthusiasm and honor by the Pakistani people" Bush declared Monday.

Eden original fake-news

MINNEAPOLIS WOMAN ARRESTED FOR EXTREME LAUGHTER

MINNEAPOLIS-A local woman burst into uncontrollable laughter Monday in a Southeastern urban cafe. Pamela Jones was visiting Happy Java Cafe when she was struck by something so funny, it erupted into laughter that lasted longer than Minnesotans are used to and was louder than Minnesotans are used to.

Other cafe patrons were outraged, saying, "What's wrong with her? Call the Police!" When asked to comment, one woman who frequents Happy Java stated: "We are mean, miserable people here, and it's gonna stay that way!"

After her arrest, Ms. Jones was asked to comment. "I'm just happy, I can't help it," she said. She was released Monday with no charges, except for Visa and Mastercard.

Eden original fake-news

BLACK CAT AND MAGPIE

Love Is Better Than Hate. I'll take flowers for bullets

I'm sorry - I got taken over by anger...

and I hope I didn't hurt anyone. Sometimes evil just stirs up the fiercest anger in me, yet, if we try to attack with anger in our own flesh (our sin nature - in this case, pride, because I am thinking "I can do this all by myself"), we are attacking spirits with flesh, and oh boy!

I just got the back hand of that in the last couple of days! We need to walk so carefully in these blogs. Many many are watching, reading.

I am searching for people who are hungry and thirsty for God, as I am. I don't want to hurt anyone with words that may cause confusion or damage.

I didn't mean to attack Carrie and Deborah from King Of Queens and Everyboy loves Raymond so much. It's because I have loved these women and the characters of their shows so much that it hurt me deeply to start to notice a pattern of abuse coming from them towards their husbands, who may behave stupidly but are loveable. It may be that we women have trouble with being self-righteous and that we get into anger far too often, due to hormones, not to mention, just things in life.

But women that we create for the screen ought to be larger and better than life. I am just looking for some purer, sweeter, and at the same time creative and funny women to emerge more than we have seen. There are many female role models that just aren't positive for our young girls, and that's a sad sad fact.

HAIL, LION OF JUDAH!

Important insight: the bible says that Satan prowls around LIKE a roaring lion, seeking who he may devour, it doesn't say that he IS a lion. The bible says that Jesus IS the LION OF JUDAH!

BUSH CONSULTS HAIRDRESSER ABOUT NEW IMAGE

Eden original fake news

"WAH-KEEN", PUT OUT THE FIRE!

PG-13, 2004


Only a man could have a hairlip (well re-constructed I might add) and be the sexiest one on the screen. His characters are wonderful. Attention was drawn to the courage and self sacrifice of fire fighters after 9/11, and this movie gives satisfaction in seeing the story of one, fictitious firefighter based on truth.

One of my favorite films - I know because I like to see it over again. The reason must be that I want to see a story about the courage it takes to give up your life and the satisfaction that comes from it. This film does that. I'm learning to give up my life (and find it)

I am attracted to Joaquin, but I just would like to see him being funnier. I think that'd be perfect.

EXTREME MAKEOVER FAMILY RECEIVES HUGE BILL FROM SEARS

"I THOUGHT IT WAS FREE," Mrs. Waters shouted at the receptionist at Extreme Makover headquarters.

Sweet Jane Waters is known for her kindness and watchful eye on the neighborhood. Her house went through some floods and desperately needed a makeover. But, with the show title being EXTREME MAKEOVER: Home Edition, they got a great one.





Unfortunately, Mrs. Waters is now retired and her husband passed away. She is just getting by on her Social Security checks. No wonder she was completely shocked when the whole bill for the renovation came in the mail almost two years later.

"I CAN'T PAY FOR THIS," she shouted....

Eden original fake news

Bush Vows To Eliminate U.S. Dependency On Oil By 4920

WASHINGTON D.C. - President Bush unveiled an aggressive initiative Monday that would make the U.S. free of petroleum dependence by the year 4920, less than three millenia from now.

from The Onion

ROTATION OF EARTH PLUNGES ENTIRE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT INTO DARKNESS

NEW YORK - Millions of eyewitnesses watched in stunned horror Tuesday night as light emptied from the sky, plunging the U.S. and neighboring countries into darkness. As hours progressed, conditions only worsened.

from The Onion

Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness

From the newspaper, The Onion

In a press on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widspread call for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.

AWESOME DOG FILM for the non-cynical adult

DOG OF FLANDERS - 1999, PG, stars Cheryl Ladd. Amazing, touching film, shows the youngest budding love between a boy and girl at the beginning of puberty - with only as much as a light kiss between them. The movie portrays the fierce courage of a child and follows his life into his early early adulthood. This story, set in 19th century Holland, reminds me of Hans Christian Andersen themes.

HOW I MISS YOU DANA, WHEN SAT NITE LIVE WAS GOOD

HOW I MISS this funny man and his many characters. Church lady and Bush are my favorites. I wonder if we'll see another Dana Carvey in our lifetime. I wonder if Sat Nite Live will ever be good again. Fox's MADTV is so much cleaner and better - at times, like last night.

ONE GREAT LADY ANDIE and my all-time favorite film

This is one of my favorite actresses, and for good reason.

She is not only beautiful, she is a total individual. She has a unique smile, and she can be funny with dignity. She embodies strength with such femininity. I doubt we'll see the likes of her again or for a while.

She is in my all-time favorite GROUND HOG DAY with Bill Murray and is perfectly cast in a film full of loveable characters. I have watched the film maybe thirty times and will watch it again.

I've read plenty of reveiws and have heard others say they too want to watch the film over and over. I realize now the reason is the LOVE that is happening in the film. You feel the love as you watch it and want to be in the atmosphere of the film.

The film involves mostly just people - American, small town people on a special celebration day in winter - February 2nd, a day when most are as weary of winter as they can possibly be, which is probably more popular a theme for a Minnesotan than for anyone, and another reason I can relate to it.

It shows the weakness of one man who is just about to lose his youth, is tired of humanity, is just as tired of himself, has no hope, and who hopelessly longs for a relationship with the effervescent and brilliant Andie MacDowell.

He is lost in a Twilight Zone episode, which is similar to the episodes that I have been thrust into by Satan. I have truly lived a similar, terrifying Twilight Zone many times in my life. For this reason the film holds a special charm for me that I don't think it could hold for even the many viewers who have watched it over and over, unless I am mistaken. Unless, many Americans such as myself have lived in different versions of Twlilight Zone even if mine have been more truly surreal.

The most important reason I love the film is that the JEWISH filmakers believe in the outcome - they believe in the triumph of the man's inner soul to transcend his own evil, the triumph over evil in general, and that one day, the man will awaken from the Twilight Zone that has been his life and will find every loose end tied, and the beautiful soul-mate of his dreams lying right beside him. This is the same outcome that my life soars towards despite the evil that still follows at my heels.