Tuesday, February 14, 2006


Mercedes was talking to her new boyfriend Benz and his friends Mark Lincoln, Eddie Bauer and Dan about being her Escort on a Voyageur to some Outlander location or on an Expedition to some place either Continental or foreign.

"Eddie," she said, "should we Escape on a Skylark to Malibu or Monterey, or somewhere in the Pacifica?"

Eddie cheerfully responded, "sounds like a Grand Caravan. Why not be an Explorer and go to the Tundra or the Yukon? There's always Aztec culture, Montego Bay or Monte Carlo. For that matter, why not go to the moon or Saturn? I'm sounding Cavalier. Maybe just a Continental USA tour. There's Sedona, Durango, the Dakotas, or Montana. We can meet Cherokee. There's Tacoma or our neighbors, Crown Victoria."

"Say-Dan. You're kind of a Gee-Oh, a Metro guy, aren't you?" Eddie added.

Dan replied, "no that's Benz you're talking about - Mercedes' Benz. He loves Park Avenue."

"Yeh," Benz chimed in, "give me the Grand Marquis and Lake Tahoe while you're at it. No Avalanche for me, thank you!"

Dan said, "yeh, I'm kind of a Sportage Forester, or a Highlander myself. Give me the chance to visit the high Sierra, or be a Trailblazer. Let me see Sequoia, let me see Jaguars in the wild, or hear and occasional Thunderbird. Oh to be the guy who discovered the Mustang - what was his name?"

Eddie jumped in,"well I'm no Ranger. I'm an Uplander, an Outlander, or you could say, I'm a Freelander."

Mercedes smiled with glee, "I come from a legacy of Freestyle Freestars, which makes us seem less Sable, but I love the full Spectra of life's experiences."

"Yeh," Benz said, "I can Lancer that with a Titan's roar! She's lady Liberty to the Maxima! She's the Altima Land Rover! Me, I'm just a Cruiser. Give me a Town Car to go where the Neon lights are bright! That's when I'm in my Element! Lexus go and Rendevous, Mercedes, and listen to a Sonata and watch the Vue."

"Man oh man," Dan chirped, "am i envious of you two love Bugs. I had a girlfriend once... her name was Kia. You two have such Accord. So Camry change the subject?

"I kinda got the Vibe you were jealous," Mercedes cooed. "Saab Saab."

"No, I'm happy for you," Dan protested.

"Can't help it," Benz announced, "cuz I love her to Infiniti. I had my ION her from the day i met her. First time I saw her I said, Honda Huyndai! And I'm not even Japanese."

"OH Benz," Mercedes clucked, "You're not so bad yourself! To be perfectly Acura, Benz is Galant. And that's not just on the Xterra. That's what Impreza me the most about you, Benz. And you don't need a Forenza expert to prove it either! First time we met I totally floored it"

"Well, pick her up and Duster off," Mark Lincoln interjected facetiously!

Everyone looked at him funny. "Well, she said she was on the floor, didn't she?" Mark protested. Everyone groaned at another "Mark Lincoln joke."

Mark, who took pride in being a Scionist, held his peace. Mark was an interesting fellow. he liked to Passat his time learning the Suzuki method of violin. Prius-ly, he loved the Beetles - the old Beetles, not the new. Now classical was becoming his favorite.

He enjoyed Golf on occasion, loves Tiger Woods, and if he could be anything else it would be a Jetta-ite living on another planet.

Mark would like to say, "I'm not a singer, I'm more of a Hummer." That was his humor. "He lives in a different Equinox," people said.

"You know what they say in Japan," Mark roused,"Honda! Mitsubishi, Toyota Nissan!" That means, "let's get going before the sun goes down."

"My car may not be the Spanish Armada" Mark jostled," but it gets me from A to B. Come on, LeSabre our time together. You can drive, Benz. No Benz, it's an American car - you don't just press down on the gas - you gotta Ram it!"


1 comment:

Colin Morris said...

Hahaha... what. The. Hell.